Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
