please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize