meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Drake has all the answers
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
