Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
COCAINE IS GR8
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
