i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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