he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
