why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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