I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
