i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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