I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
