Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dicks are not precious.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize