is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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