Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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