I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
