i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
