well you can't waste a boner
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
