I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
