Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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