Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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