I wish I could teleport
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
