She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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