It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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