I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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