Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize