Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
