so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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