my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
