I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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