There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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