Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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