My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
