So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
