Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
