I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
