You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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