So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
