We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
