im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
