so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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