"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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