Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
