So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
