i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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