Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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