Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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