Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
