Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
