Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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