Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
