ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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