Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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