sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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