WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
