Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
