I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
