HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
