It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
