It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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