U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
