If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
